Alt at De Zandwacht, a monumental artwork by Observatorium in the dunes of Maasvlakte 2, 2018. Image: Jeroen Bosch.
‘Celebrate? What do you mean by celebrate? I can’t think of a single thing that I would want to celebrate today.’ And quietly she added to herself: ‘You go celebrate yourself.’
The question ‘What can we celebrate today?’ makes some of my clients highly uncomfortable. They don’t feel like celebrating anything, as this is not what their attention is focused on.
Like most of us, they are used to seeing the bad sides to stuff: the things that they haven’t accomplished, the phone calls that have not been made, the copy that wasn’t written, project x that has not been finished. It is easier to think of what is not here, than of what is here.
But this habit is disastrous to our results.
We get what we expect. Think self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a simple rule.
If we only see all the things that aren’t in place yet, we start to feel bad about ourselves and our abilities. Maybe we even persist with self-loathing thoughts like: ‘I am way too lazy to get where I want to be. I am so not an entrepreneur.’ We’ll end up getting exactly that: not the results of a committed entrepreneur but of someone who doesn’t feel worthy of being one.
Alright. Time to flip this one.
Here’s tip one: You’ve probably heard this one many times before: whatever you give your attention to grows. So if you focus on your success by asking yourself a question like ‘What can I celebrate today?’, you straigthen your back, maybe you even bounce up. You get into a better mood immediately. That’s all we need.
This has a lot to do with tip two: everything is about your vibration. What you think and feel inside of you will show up in the outside world. Do you expect to get no one sign up for your programs? No one will. Do you expect to never be able to get yourself out of your current position, transitioning into a fulfilling job? It will become really hard to move on. Putting yourself in a positive state of mind increases your chances big time.
Tip three: Start to envision your future. Don’t be shy. Think big instead.
Whenever ideas come to you, don’t think you were just dreaming or that everyone else is getting the same fairy tales. Or worse, start debating with yourself in a ‘Yeah sure, you wish’-way.
Other people don’t get the same ideas. And if they do, that’s perfectly fine. It has no effect whatsoever on you or your dreams. If you catch yourself worrying along these lines, remember there’s only one person who needs to start taking her own dreams and desires seriously: YOU.
One bonus tip here: in the very beginning stages when only a tiny seed has just been planted in your head, it is often smart to keep it just there: with yourself.
The people around you might not be used to you starting to step up and dream big. It might surprise them. When ideas are so fresh and green, they might not be ready yet, to protect themselves from disbelief or criticism from the outside world.
I remember once sharing a fresh idea myself with an acquaintance driving back home after a conference. During the conversation, she started to test my proposed method, by playing one of the guests on the envisioned live show. Well, the idea was still what it was: an idea. And it was way too early for me to become that practical, let alone to do a pilot right then and there in the car.
What was the result? It took me another three years to start making the first episode of Carolien TV, as it had become very hard for me to follow up on the idea.
Was it her fault? No it was not. I had just omitted to be very selective with whom my idea would be safe and in what environment it was ok for me to start sharing and stick my neck out. Another lesson learned.
Alright, back to you now. Have you allowed yourself to dream big lately? What is it that you have in mind for yourself?
I’ll give you one of mine, as I feel ready now to start sharing my latest adventure here with you publicly. It feels important for me to take that leap. And for you to read about it, so that you know that you aren’t the only one who gets all sorts of crazy ideas in her head. And that it is up to you to decide whether you make some of them come true.
For now, I’ll give you two hints: it has everything to do with making a documentary (why not?!?) and with creating a big tribe of women dedicating their lives to what they feel and – if they are honest with themselves – know is important to them. No matter what. No excuses.
Will keep you posted on this one.