Who is the first person that comes to mind when you think about leadership? Nelson Mandela immediately pops up in my head. Richard Branson. Brene Brown. Beyonce. And Obama, of course.
Nothing wrong with having these rolemodels. I let myself gladly be inspired by the power, independency and freedom of Beyonce. What might easily get overlooked however, is the importance of self-leadership.
There’s a few things that I have learned from this pandemic.
Let’s talk about resistance. More relevant than ever, as we are all experiencing it these days with a lockdown that takes longer than we could ever imagine. Possibly you are also trying to combine your work with home-schooling your children. Not an easy job.
Feeling resistant in itself is not a problem. It is part of life: where there is change, resistance will show up. As long as you are willing to let the feeling flow through you, you are perfectly fine.
I’m taking it slow these days. I do my yoga practice, I go for short walks and answer an email here and there and that is about it. I had to cancel yesterday’s sessions. What I see and experience is that transition work – yes, we are currently going through a transition both individually and as a collective, whether you like it or not – is something that requires my dedication. It does cost energy. And that is perfectly fine. Shedding layers of long-carried trauma – we all carry trauma in our bodies, I do too – and allowing it to move through me takes time.
Access Your Inner Peace
I have created a little gift for you. It’s an ultra short audio that you can turn on whenever you feel overwhelm, irritation, anxiety or frustration creeping into your system. Or whenever you can use some extra relaxation.
In this short audio, I am guiding you through a very effective three step process:
1. Give yourself permission to slow down and pause;
2. Reconnect with your body. Feel your feet on the ground, feel the chair underneath your buttocks. Follow your breath, without wanting to change it;
3. Remind yourself that you are more than your emotions, using this super simple hack: something in me. “I’m sensing something in me that feels overwhelmed/scared/frustrated and I am making some space for it. I acknowledge that there is a part in me that feels this way.”
These three steps enable you to shift your energy into a higher vibration within just a few seconds. Goodbye to overwhelm, fear and frustration.
“What on earth was that? This can’t be true. I must have imagined it. Let’s just move on. What’s next?” These were the words of one of my clients, after he had just tuned in with himself and asked for his very first step to a mission-driven life. The guidance he had just received was spot-on: 3 Minute Meditation. He understood what was meant by this, as it was the title of a book that had been sitting unread on his bookshelf for years.
Spot-on guidance
One would think that my client was ready to implement this first action step. However, it wasn’t that easy. In order to take the action, he first needed to believe and feel in his bones that the guidance he had received, was the very thing he was looking for.
‘Enjoy life. Stay healthy.’ I read the words on the little label of my chai tea bag. They describe pretty well what I have been up to: I turned my energy to my health. It was as if my body said: ‘Hey, we’re here! You have never paid much attention to us, but it IS our turn now. You have invested in your emotional well-being, in your mental hygiene and in your spiritual growth. We are here, too! Don’t let us down. We are ready.’
A few objections
I have trained myself to respond wholeheartedly, whenever I receive guidance like this. I have come to understand that there is no point in trying to ignore the signs or postponing. Of course, I felt resistance. I wasn’t expecting differently.
What can you do when you feel tired? Replenish. Nourish yourself. And don’t forget to check whether you got enough sleep last night. Often sleep is the issue. Not getting the 7 or 8 hours of sleep per night will eventually wear you out. It makes you feel less courageous, less vibrant and less fun to be around.
Last night, I had a wonderful and long conversation with a friend of mine. I truly enjoyed our time together. I ended up going to bed way after midnight. This morning, I realized that this is not for me anymore. It takes its toll on my mood, on my vibrancy and on feeling ready for the day. Just like alcohol does. Not worth it.
A little wind passes through the open window. I am wearing the flowery dress that I bought in Polen, during my first summer vacation with Jeroen. I just got off the phone with one of my clients; we had a nice conversation.
Unwinding
It feels very summery today. Summery in the way that it is time for me to unwind. For two weeks, I will only work for 50%. The other half of the week, I am spending with the kids. I’ll probably get us to some water today. Or we will be lying in the shade in a park on a little plaid, playing some games. All fine, all good. Unwinding, relaxing, enojoying, hanging out.
Yes, I will get my taxes in on time. Let’s not get too summery here. Doing a reality check once in a while can be useful.
What is the most beautiful sentence I have ever written? No clue. What is the most beautiful book that I have ever read? No idea. Maybe Kafka on the shore by Haruki Murakami. What is the most beautiful man I have every kissed? You tell me. What is the most beautiful flower I have ever picked?
Uplifting
All this doesn’t matter at all. It is not important. What is important is that I am enjoying this gorgeous bunch of flowers on my dinner table. That I love to kiss my husband good morning.
‘So this is what enough is.’ Those were the words that came up for me during the check-out in the latest Transition Central online meeting.
Check-in and check-out
At the beginning and at the end of our online video meetings, we do a check-in and a check-out: every participant gets one or two minutes to speak what she is experiencing in that moment. She knows that all group members will listen deeply, without responding. This makes it safe for her to share whatever she has on her mind. There won’t be any judging.