Earlier this week, I received a message from a former client of mine. She had just gone through a wonderful focusing session and she HAD to share the insights she had received. She was still bubbling with enthousiasm. I love to receive these kinds of messages; they make my day.
My client shared that she could feel that there were parts within her that had been anticipating her presence for quite some time. As if they had been sitting there, patiently waiting until she would show up and keep them company.
What she could feel in her body, is true for many of us: there are parts in our bodies that are dying to connect with us. They’d love to receive our attentive care, sometimes after years of neglect.
Let me give you an example from my own life. A couple of years ago I got in touch with a part in me that felt lonely and desperate. It took me back to primary school, when there was a day that I wasn’t allowed to play with the other kids in the school yard. This lonely part in me loved it when I finally -nearly four decades later- showed up for her, so that she could share with me what she was going through. That was all she needed.
Is there something inside of me…
Do you want to try this yourself? Start with asking yourself the following question: Is there something inside of me right now that would like to have my attention? Drop your attention within, concentrating on the mid area of your body, on your throat, chest, belly and pelvic area. You just wait until there is something that shows itself. Are you feeling a slight change in your body? Then you know that there is a part in you that wants to reveal itself to you.
You then start to follow these three simple steps so that you can build relationship with this part. The three steps are derived from the ABC-model of Focusing: Acknowledgement, Being with and Compassion.
- Acknowledge that you feel this something inside you. Say internally hello to it and let it know that you see it. Then check: how does it feel? Maybe it is tense or heavy or it makes you feel nauseous in your stomach. Describe the feeling with one word.
- Being with: decide to spend some time with this part. Give it your full attention, with an open and curious mind. Know that you are in touch with a part within you that has something to say about something that is going on in your life right now. Listen deeply to it.
- Compassion: show this part compassion. It doesn’t matter how it feels – it can be as panicky, irritated or desperate as it is. You are willing to be there for it anyway.
A slow process
Do know that this way of communicating with your body is a slow process. While you are used to the fast pace of your mind, remember that this is a bodily process and that it takes time. You may want to set your alarm at ten minutes. If a part in you starts to feel impatient, let it know that you are just giving this a try for the next ten minutes. That’s all you are asking for.
Good luck and I would love to hear how it went. Leave your comment below. You will always get a reply.
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