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Alt Bosch, Alt Tag=20, 2016. Image: jeroenbosch.com
Do you ever hear yourself ever say: ‘But I don’t have the time! How on earth can I go after my personal goals and desires in order to create a happy professional life when I have barely time to breath? No thank you, no extra tasks for my chockful schedule.’
I know it. This voice can sound really true. So true that you might believe in it. Maybe you really think it’s impossible for you to start investing time and energy in pursuit of your own dreams and desires. You feel crammed with work, family duties and going to the vet with your daughter’s sick cat. The stress that accompanies this feeling does feel very real to you. And so does the exhaustion that comes with it.
However, you might also ask yourself these questions: ‘Is it true? Can I absolutely know that it’s true that I don’t have the time to work on my personal goals? Or is there a possibility that I made it up and it’s not more than a thought in my head?’
Chances are that you now start looking through the ‘But I don’t have time’ argument and discover that it is what it is: a defense mechanism. A pretty clever one, I must add. Because what if you take a stand for your own professional fulfillment and put in everything you got to make it work, but then you fail? How painful is that? The time argument comes in pretty handy then. If you never start, you’ll never have to endure those painful feelings of failure. Risk avoided.
Having peeled this protecting layer away, you might now be willing to see what is truly going on. Your ‘I don’t have the time’ actually means: I don’t dare to start dreaming for myself. Or: I’m too scared that I might lose my comfortable lifestyle. Or: I’m not willing to make the necessary changes in order to feel happier and more fulfilled. I will never be able to achieve it anyway. Or: I’m so afraid to hurt other people’s feelings. What will they think of me?
Maybe by now you have an idea what fear your ‘But I don’t have the time’ argument is trying to cover up for. Well done. You’re well on your way to getting unstuck, as it all starts with becoming conscious of the limiting beliefs that are playing games with you. This opens the way to exchanging them for healthier, more supportive thoughts.
It is also possible that you are more of a headstrong type: What fear? I’m not fearful. Didn’t I tell you I just don’t have the time? If only there were more than 24 hours in a day, my problem would be easily solved.
Alright then. Here’s your bottom line: you decide how you spend your week. If you feel you don’t have enough time, you are simply not being selective enough and doing too much.
Oooh, you don’t want to hear that? You even feel tempted to close your eyes for this truth and prefer to blame outside sources such as: ‘My spouse has a very important and busy job. He really can’t do more in the household. I have to do every single thing by myself.’
Well sweetie, your spouse might not be willing to take on the work. A housekeeper will.
Or this excuse: ‘My boss will never accept that I work fewer hours a week. That simply isn’t the culture in our office.’ If you are committed to your own wellbeing and to making your happiness at work a priority, you will find the courage to open up the conversation with your manager and start exploring new ways of aligning your personal needs with the organization’s goals. And you always have the freedom to leave. You choose whether you work within a culture in which an 80-hour week is the standard and in which you can earn brownies by clocking in on Saturdays and Sundays.
Ok, I’m glad we’ve cleared that. No more blaming it on others.
So are you ready to take full responsibility for your most precious asset: how you spend your time? Ask yourself these two powerful questions: What are my priorities? Am I spending my time according to my own priorities?
It’s amazing how much space you can claim for yourself by making the necessary changes so that you are dedicating all of your time to what it is you want to achieve in life.
Good luck with this! And good fun. I wish you a lot of fun. And let me know how you’re doing with your goals. I’d love to hear from you in the comment’s section. You’ll always get a reply.