Alicja Kwade, Trans-For-Men 8, 2018, Museum Voorlinden.
Your level of self-belief plays a major role when taking action towards your goals. Are you aware of the ways in which you might let yourself be robbed from it? Today’s post is about self-belief killer #3: other people’s opinions.
A little story
It was about six years ago and I had just made the transition into transformational coaching. After I had informed my network about this new step, a former sponsor contacted me to go for a coffee. Here’s what he said: ‘Carolien, no organization will want what you are offering. People come to you for your enthusiasm and your can-do mentality so that projects get turned into a success. Those qualities of yours will bring you work. By the way, do you know how many coaches this country has?’
I sat there on the terrace, coffee in my hand and I realized that this sympathetic man had invited me because he wanted to warn me. He felt he needed to protect me from making a big mistake. Luckily, I understood that this was just his perception and that I was only responsible for my own response.
Situations like these can be tricky. Firstly, the intention of this man was good: he obviously wanted to help. His opinion had some weight too, as he had given me quite some work in the past. Thirdly, and this was the hardest part, I recognized the qualities he mentioned about me. Qualities he and I knew had generated me income. At the same time, I only had a few pilot clients who could speak about my coaching abilities. And the coaching wasn’t a money maker yet.
That same evening, after I had quietly sat with this coffee appointment, I realized I needed to thank this man. He had pointed out the importance of building my reputation as a coach. That was I took from our conversation.
Don’t give your power away
Here’s the rule of thumb: other people’s opinions as such cannot hurt you, neither can they do anything to your level of self-belief. As long as you don’t give your power away, no chip of your self-belief will be knocked off.
To your new adventures!
Here’s a question for you: are you sensitive to other people’s opinions? Do they easily debilitate you? If you want to learn to trust yourself under all conditions, sign up for a connection call with me. Together we will explore your options and opportunities. I am looking forward to speaking with you!