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Florentijn Hofman, Rubber Duck, Sydney 2013 www.florentijnhofman.nl. Image: Inhabitat
Dafne Schippers for gold! In the weeks before the Olympic Games, it seemed as if the Dutch newspapers couldn’t write about anything else but Schippers’ golden race. And then it didn’t happen. Elaine Thompson beat her. Schippers had to reconcile herself with the silver medal. That wasn’t an easy job.
Let me be clear: goals are a very useful tool to help you keep your focus on what you want to achieve and keep track of the progress you’re making. However, there’s also a drawback that’s often disguised and hard to spot. I’m sharing here my personal top three pitfalls while working on my goals and how you can avoid them.
Pitfall #1: Using goals for measuring success
There’s nothing so off putting as setting goals for the next year only to find out at the end of the year that I haven’t made it. No, my business hasn’t passed the €80k mark. And no, me and my family haven’t moved to our open and spacious family home. We still live in the city apartment where I once started when I was still single.
Ouch! It can be very tempting to now throw both my arms in the air, screaming: ‘Look at me. Again I have failed miserably.’
And then that’s exactly how I would feel. A failure.
There are ways to avoid this pitfall, cause of course it’s a big fat lie. Not having fully achieved my business goal is not the end of the world. It is what it is: a business goal not attained. No need for a meltdown. Instead, let this be an invitation to use goals productively, setting them to inspire me, to pull me forward and take the necessary action steps.
By the way, every year I do look back at my goal list to see where I’m at. It makes things very clear. I’ve learnt to do it with a mass of compassion and with my eyes wide open for every single thing that I have accomplished. I don’t want to risk to ditch any of my silver Olympic medals.
Pitfall #2: Going after someone else’s goals
Of course I only go after my own goals. Why would I be chasing someone else’s dreams and desires?
For many years, I had wanted to become a museum director, preferably of The Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam. But now, with every art review I read, I feel relieved that I’m not critiquing art anymore. And when I visited Museum de Zaanse Schans with my kids this summer, I felt grateful that I’m not forcing myself anymore to go after the position of museum director. I now know that the museum world is not my happy work spot.
But tell me, what the heck was I thinking when applying for PhD programs on contemporary art and getting a degree in Museum Studies? The goals I had set weren’t about me. Instead, they had everything to do with how I wanted the world to perceive me. In my thinking, being a museum director would grant me social standing and make me a successfull and accomplished woman. So that’s what I went for.
Do you want to avoid this second pitfall? Just check for yourself. Think about the main goal you are pursuing right now. How does that feel in your body? Do you feel excited, like you can’t wait to start working on it? Perfect. That’s just how you’re supposed to be feeling. Are you feeling low on energy, maybe even drained? That’s a signal too. Some adjustments need to be made here. Check whether the adjusted goal makes you feel better. If not, you might consider to ditch the goal entirely.
Pitfall #3: Holding on to outdated goals
I change, and so do my goals. I understand this concept, I even agree with it. But I’ve also found it pretty painful to put it in practice. Cause what to do with a goal that I’m very invested in? Simply let it go after spending a lot of time, energy and money trying to make it happen.
To be honest, it has taken me years to leave the museum director path. Not very surprising, given the fact that I had set my mind on this since I was 13 years old. And that I had created an eight-year masterplan of university degrees and study abroad in order to fulfill this dream. During these years, it never occurred to me to question anything about it. This was the plan that I had in mind and I was going to succeed.
Reviewing your goals on a regular basis, every six months or at least once a year, is your best bet to avoid this third pitfall. Again, feel how your body responds to each of your goals. Make adjustments if needed. Staying in congruence with your current desires is key here.
Do you recognize one of the three pitfalls? Or maybe all three? I would love to hear from you. You can leave your comment below. You will always get a response.
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