Who is the first person that comes to mind when you think about leadership? Nelson Mandela immediately pops up in my head. Richard Branson. Brene Brown. Beyonce. And Obama, of course.
Nothing wrong with having these rolemodels. I let myself gladly be inspired by the power, independency and freedom of Beyonce. What might easily get overlooked however, is the importance of self-leadership.
There’s a few things that I have learned from this pandemic.
Let’s talk about resistance. More relevant than ever, as we are all experiencing it these days with a lockdown that takes longer than we could ever imagine. Possibly you are also trying to combine your work with home-schooling your children. Not an easy job.
Feeling resistant in itself is not a problem. It is part of life: where there is change, resistance will show up. As long as you are willing to let the feeling flow through you, you are perfectly fine.
I’m taking it slow these days. I do my yoga practice, I go for short walks and answer an email here and there and that is about it. I had to cancel yesterday’s sessions. What I see and experience is that transition work – yes, we are currently going through a transition both individually and as a collective, whether you like it or not – is something that requires my dedication. It does cost energy. And that is perfectly fine. Shedding layers of long-carried trauma – we all carry trauma in our bodies, I do too – and allowing it to move through me takes time.
Sometimes, I write an article or record a video with content that almost feels as if I am first and for all speaking to myself. Watching back this week’s video on self-trust, I felt it again: this is exactly what I need to hear right now.
Self-trust has been a top of mind issue for me for over the last couple of weeks. It started with my decision to start to show up more boldly and to honour my love for speaking by creating short videos. Whenever I stretch myself like this, old fears are triggered almost immediately. I know it is a normal part of the process. Stepping out of my comfort zone by becoming fully visible online requires that I expand into a new version of me. Clearing the fear and doubt that automatically come up, is a necessary step. This is how we grow.
Why is it that one health worker feels overwhelmed when speaking about that one Corona patient she cared for during the first weeks of the pandemic, while a colleague who has worked under the same extremely difficult circumstances feels steady and back on his feet again?
Reading through the beautiful and personal interviews this morning, I noticed that the health worker who had taken the time after every intense night shift, to go to the beach and scream to the sea and cry about all the horrifying things he had gone through during the night, felt relatively well.
This doesn’t surprise me. His willingness to make space for his emotions and to allow them to move through him, must have helped him a great deal.
‘I feel completely stuck and if I am really honest with myself, I know that I have felt this way for at least three years now – if not longer. Something needs to change here.’ I always applaud people who come to me with great honesty and openness. They have taken the important first step of acknowledging that they are not in their happy place. It takes courage to do so.
Kudos, designer dresses and university degrees
Listening to their stories, I realize that many of them have been looking in the wrong place. Feelings of happiness and fulfilment can’t be obtained through the next shiny gadget, designer dress or educational degree. Neither do they come from collecting kudos from a partner or friends.
Don’t know what to do with your life? No clue how to find direction? It’s simple: change your modus operandi. Chances are that you have been relying on your mind to figure out what is next. Well, you have been looking in the wrong place.
Your brain is a great instrument when you are about to implement a project and need to think about all the different tasks at hand. It isn’t a reliable wayfinding tool though. Every day, you have thousands of thoughts. As a result, your mind will tell you A on Monday, only to find out on Tuesday that it strongly suggests you do the opposite. This 180 degree change can happen in a day. Or in a few moments.
Earlier this week, I received a message from a former client of mine. She had just gone through a wonderful focusing session and she HAD to share the insights she had received. She was still bubbling with enthousiasm. I love to receive these kinds of messages; they make my day.
My client shared that she could feel that there were parts within her that had been anticipating her presence for quite some time. As if they had been sitting there, patiently waiting until she would show up and keep them company.
These super simple three steps will get you instantly out of overwhelm, fear and frustration. Try the three steps yourself.
Do you want some extra guidance? Listen to the audio below and let yourself be guided through the three steps by me. Enjoy!
Access Your Inner Peace
I have created a little gift for you. It’s an ultra short audio that you can turn on whenever you feel overwhelm, irritation, anxiety or frustration creeping into your system. Or whenever you can use some extra relaxation.
In this short audio, I am guiding you through a very effective three step process:
1. Give yourself permission to slow down and pause;
2. Reconnect with your body. Feel your feet on the ground, feel the chair underneath your buttocks. Follow your breath, without wanting to change it;
3. Remind yourself that you are more than your emotions, using this super simple hack: something in me. “I’m sensing something in me that feels overwhelmed/scared/frustrated and I am making some space for it. I acknowledge that there is a part in me that feels this way.”
These three steps enable you to shift your energy into a higher vibration within just a few seconds. Goodbye to overwhelm, fear and frustration.